Let’s be real: making friends as an adult can feel awkward, frustrating, and downright confusing. Gone are the days of playground introductions and college dorm bonding. Now it's work schedules, moving cities, and wondering if asking someone to hang out sounds too desperate. You're not alone—in fact, the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a public health crisis.
So what actually works? At CREEW, we’ve studied the science and built a whole platform around meaningful connection. Whether you’re starting fresh in a new city or just want deeper friendships where you are, here are five research-backed ways to make real friends as an adult.
1. Show Up to the Right Kind of Events
Not all social events are created equal. Large networking mixers or loud bars can leave you feeling more disconnected than before. Instead, look for small group gatherings with a shared focus—think creative classes, workshops, or activity-based meetups.
Why it works: Social psychologists have found that shared, goal-based activities lower anxiety and increase connection. You don’t have to force conversation—you bond naturally while doing something side-by-side.
➡️ Try This: Join an art night, wellness class, or community dinner where the structure takes the pressure off.
2. Lead with Vulnerability, Not Performance
We often try to impress people when we first meet them—but what actually builds trust is authenticity. Start with small self-disclosures: a truth about your week, a story that means something to you, or even just admitting you're nervous.
Why it works: Studies show that vulnerability fosters closeness. People remember how you made them feel, not just what you said.
➡️ Try This: Instead of saying "I'm good!" when someone asks how you are, be real. "It's been a rough week, but I'm glad to be here."
3. Prioritize Consistency Over Chemistry
Friendship isn’t built in a single hangout—it's formed through repeated, low-pressure contact. The people you see often (and casually) are the ones most likely to become real friends.
Why it works: The "mere exposure effect" shows that we tend to like people more simply because we see them regularly. Familiarity breeds connection.
➡️ Try This: Attend recurring events, join a group with a weekly meeting, or invite someone to walk or grab coffee every other week.
4. Find People Who Match Your Social Energy
It’s not just about what you like to do, but how you like to connect. Are you a deep convos person? A high-energy group type? Someone who thrives in quieter, intentional spaces? Matching vibe matters more than hobbies.
Why it works: Behavioral studies show that shared communication styles and emotional energy predict long-term friendship satisfaction.
➡️ Try This: Take the CREEW Quiz to find your social archetype and events curated to match your vibe.
5. Be the One Who Follows Up
You swapped numbers. You said "we should hang out." Now what? Take the lead. Send the text. Make the plan. Friendship is a two-way street, but most of us are waiting for the other person to make a move.
Why it works: Initiative builds momentum. When someone follows up, it signals interest—and helps shift casual connections into intentional friendships.
➡️ Try This: Text someone within 48 hours of meeting. Keep it simple: "Hey! It was great meeting you at [event]. Want to grab coffee sometime next week?"
Real Friendship Takes Intention—Not Perfection
If you've ever felt like everyone else has it all figured out but you’re behind, trust us: you're not. Making friends as an adult is hard—but it’s not impossible. And with the right tools, mindset, and spaces, it can feel natural again.
Want to meet people who vibe with you? Take the CREEW Quiz and discover your social style—plus events designed to help you build real friendships, face-to-face.